Playing 'by heart'.

Music education (and our education systems in general) tends to over-emphasise the head - or the analytical mind. We first observe others correcting our errors before before gradually being encouraged to carry out the task ourselves. We become our own censor (or teacher, if you prefer).

Musicians, to varying degrees, internalise this error-correction over many years until it solidifies in form as the inner-critic.

When, as is so often the case, the inner-critic gets too big for its boots it puts itself between us and the music. Anxiety grows around ‘getting it right’, leaving the body feeling generally unsafe. When the body feels unsafe it locks-up and makes enjoying the expression of music near impossible.

Seeing my own students and how they handle their own inner-critic inspired me to learn the piece below. I wanted also to challenge myself to fully learn the piece by heart and to acquaint myself with my own inner-critic - hopefully with a little more mindfulness (and kindness) than in the past.

I would practice small bits and pause regularly to notice what was coming up for me. How much was I driven by the need to ‘get it right’ or prove myself as a musician through my playing?

My goal was not so much to change my feelings around playing but simply to stop and bring my awareness to them, as they came up.

This simple act of committing to curiosity over judgment made the learning of this piece as enjoyable as it was transformative.

Liam

https://youtu.be/a5t7fI2xjwo